Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sick of the reproaches of your wife – and mother-in-law?!

I’ve got an All-American Generic Viagra story to start off the holiday season. It’s sad to have a Thanksgiving when there’s no good sex to be thankful for. Who cares about the abundance of food, freedom, etc. when your Horn of Plenty is completely empty? This was my Generic Viagra dilemma last Thanksgiving, when it had become painfully obvious that I was turning into a good-for-nothing old fart as far as pleasuring my wife was concerned. She was miserable, after going for so long with no sex-and when the holiday season came around, she just got more depressed. The fact that the entire family was coming to our place just made things worse. It was as if she was embarrassed to show me to her parents again. I don’t know if she told them I needed Generic Viagra, and was just being a stubborn male in not ordering any, but they kept looking at me funny the entire time they were at our place. It didn’t help any that my wife broke down crying when she took out the turkey baster. She took it out sadly, filled it with juicy, warm liquid, and squirted some over the turkey; a nice, steady stream of filling poured out of it, covering the turkey’s nicely bronzed breast. That’s when she lost it. I guess she was jealous. And she shot me that “Buy Generic Viagra” look that I was so sick of. I gobbled like a turkey, angrily, and stormed off into the living room to watch football. I could hear her mom asking, “Baby, tell me what he did to you!” Imagine my shock when I heard my wife answer: “That’s the thing, mommy-he’s not doing anything to me! I’m undersexed!” “The monster!” my mother-in-law answered. Ha, I laughed cynically-I should buy her worthless old husband some Generic Viagra… a good roll in the hay would do that grumpy old bag a world of good.


I went into the living room to watch football with the guys. I was mad as hell and swore I wouldn’t speak to a woman in the house for the rest of the day. But I’ve got to admit, I didn’t feel worthy to watch football. Without Generic Viagra, I hadn’t given my wife the Cornucopia for months now. What kind of a man was I? Maybe I should take up flower gardening or knitting or something, if I couldn’t do any banging anymore. And deep inside, I knew that I was being stubborn. Because hell, why not order some Generic Viagra and give it a try? I knew I was letting my wife down. And besides, the lady was a total nymphomaniac. She was a real tigress in the bedroom. And I enjoyed her insatiable appetite. So why was I being so stubborn? It’s not like she was asking me to buy her a new walk-in-closet or some sort of nonsense like that. It would do me a lot of good to have a good lay, too. I was feeling pretty darn stressed out lately myself. I knew that working too much was probably contributing to my erectile dysfunction problem. If Generic Viagra had worked for million of other guys out there, then why couldn’t I give it a try?


Finally, I ordered the stuff. That very night, actually, when all of our guests had finally left, including the tyrannosaurus rex-oh, excuse me, my beloved mother-in-law. I vowed that I would use Generic Viagra to give my wife a year of fantastic sex, and that by the time next Thanksgiving rolled around, she’d be giving thanks for a year of bounty and prosperity and satiety and sexual freedom.